How to avoid "business time" with TSA agent when flying with a baby

posted this on facebook first, but just so more people hear about it and be aware I'll post it here too

*****

I'm tagging parents, especially moms I know and people who know parents as well, so you or someone you know could avoid going through what I went through. I'm also including people in Iowa specifically since it involved the Cedar Rapids Airport. I'm trying to find the humor in the situation (hence the title, a flight of the conchords reference) but I am still literally holding back tears as I recall what happened while we going through security at the Cedar Rapids Airport.

Yesterday, Paul, Max and I were headed back to Columbus from Iowa where we spend the 4th of July weekend seeing Paul's family. We got to the airport with lots of time to spare so we hung out with grandpa for a while longer before going through security. There was absolutely no lines for security so we were probably a lot more relaxed than usual. I was submitting our boarding passes and IDs so Paul ended up holding Max while I started unloading the carry-ons, which is the opposite of what we usually do. The agents were really nice and polite greeting us and cooing over Max. I put Paul's backpack down first and was getting my quart bag of liquids out of mine. Paul's bag went through then the agent asked if we had baby food and I said we did but it was in Paul's bag and I forgot to take it out since I thought it was in Max's diaper bag. I don't know if it's just me but I like to travel with a lot of food for Max because you just might get stuck at an airport for hours and aside from bananas, I've never seen baby food being sold at the airport. We also made sure that each container was less than 3 oz. and they all fit in a quart bag. Granted we did forget to get it out of the bag but I've done that before and they usually just run the bag through again.

So they told me that they had to test the baby food and I had to go through to the gate while they check the bags. This wasn't the first time I've flown with Max (this is his 5th trip that involved flying) and we've had milk and baby food tested before. Usually they just open the containers if they are not sealed and do the test or they just test the sealed container and our hands. We've had one time (also at Cedar Rapids) where the agent insisted on opening the sealed bottles of formula so we had to throw them out. Good thing I nurse Max so we only had those as a back up. Anyway, after I entered the gate the agent started going through the pat down procedure with me. At first I thought I would be ok with a patdown since I've seen so many people going through it. I was wearing a skirt so when she started talking about "going up your leg to your torso" I said " But I'm wearing a skirt". She said it was ok because she wasn't going to lift it up and I could get a private pat down if I wanted to. I started to say yes to that but we were getting short on time and I figured better for Paul to see the whole thing really than go through the patdown by myself.

The agent was as polite as you could possible expect and was explaining every step of the patdown but man, that was such a horrifying and humiliating experience. Of course as she started doing the pat down a flight probably got out and the security being at the bottom of the escalators from arrival every single passenger was coming down during the entire thing. And when she said going "up the legs to the torso" her hand went up to the groin area twice on both sides. Remember, this was my bare legs and she went up to my underwear. I could now add "TSA agent" to the list of people who've been to third base with me along with my husband and gynecologist. She did the lower half first and I swear I don't remember how the pat down of the top half went because I was in such a shock. After the pat down was over, we hurriedly got our stuff together and got out of there. I started crying as soon as we were out of security area. It just kept getting worse because I kept going through the whole thing in my mind thinking about what did I do wrong, what should I have said, why did they pick me and not Paul (who had the baby on his ticket and in whose bag the baby food was in). I just held Max so tight to make me feel better. I kept tearing up all through the flight. I really wanted to tell everybody on the flight "I hope you all feel safer since TSA just ensured that I can't make a bomb with baby food and things I may or may not have hidden in my groin!". Good thing I remembered joking about bombs on a plane is not a good idea :p

I felt better when we got to O'hare but once we got home I started feeling horrible again. I started blaming myself then blaming Paul then back to me again. I kept asking what was wrong with me that this was bothering me so much. I didn't want Paul to touch me. It's still difficult writing this down because, I don't know, maybe I really am overly sensitive but I really would like get this out there so more women won't be subjected to this humiliation.

If I would do it again I would do a couple things differently:

1. Don't wear a skirt - seriously I never even thought of this before. I wear mostly skirts in the summer and I like wearing this specific skirt at the airport because it had a lot of pockets. But apparently, "land of the free" doesn't include freedom to wear a skirt to the airport unless you want to be violated.
2. Remember to take out the quart bag of liquids - this is what I've been kicking myself for but I have to realize I can't undo the past but if you remember to do this maybe it might be less likely for you to get a patdown. But then they do random patdowns too so whatever.
3. Bring solid baby food if possible - I might try to go without pureed baby food for the other relatively short flights. Starbucks always has bananas and oatmeal. I really hope airports start selling baby food. I see enough people travelling with babies, I'm sure people will buy it.
4. Fly through airports with a scanner- I hate the idea of body scans but if I had to choose, I'll take the scan each time!
5. Don't fly at all - not really a choice for us (try driving 12 hours with a baby) but this specific trip was really important. Also Max and I already have tickets for our next trip to the Philippines. Hopefully since we're flying through Atlanta, we won't encounter this again.

So that's my story. I hope I get over this soon. Please pray for my peace of mind as I am still a bit shaky from this experience. I really think this whole procedure is unnecessary and it seems to be putting undue burden on people flying with babies, because really, how do you expect us to fly without baby food and formula? Also why pick on the mother and not the dad? Maybe my being foreign also contributed to the event (doesn't really make me feel better) but this is totally unfair whatever race you are.

Forward this to whomever you think would benefit. Safe travels in the future!

photo post

been back to my old blogging ways meaning not at all. So here's a random Max photo post.

first carousel ride

showing his first teeth

thoughtful while swinging

skinny baby

always blue skies with daddy

Max's Birth Story (finally! and now with photos)

Max is almost 7 months old! I’ve been wanting to take the time to write our story, but as any of you who’ve had to take care of a newborn probably know, your time stops becoming yours onc e you take the little one home. But it’s better late than never I guess. So here goes. . .

Our due date was September 7 and since I had GD I was scheduled to be induced on September 9. Our due date came and went (I even went to work that day!) and no signs of labor whatsoever so the 9^th it is. We were packed and ready. I remember just hanging out with my parents at home watching random Netflix movies. Paul got home early so we could all head out to my pre-labor dinner. This was pretty important to me since as anyone who’ve given birth will tell you, once you get to the hospital, it’s all ice chips ‘til the baby comes out. I picked City barbecue for dinner and we split one of their sampler plates most of which I consumed (diet? What diet?). After dinner, I kissed my parents goodbye, packed the car (we had 2 pieces of luggage and an exercise ball. We were prepared) and headed out to our 7:30pm appointment. I remember the exhilarating feeling of anticipation and dread and excitement. I was almost bouncing up and down in the car, as much as my bloated, pregnant self would allow. As we were pulling into the parking garage my phone started ringing. It was a nurse from the labor and delivery unit. She asked if we were on our way. I said we were pulling into the parking garage. She said they were out of delivery rooms at the moment so if we would just come in so I could get checked, but leave our luggage in the car and maybe we’ll get rescheduled for induction on Sunday. Paul and I sat in the car for a bit feeling really disappointed. Although on the upside, I thought, I get to have another pre-labor dinner. Maybe.

So we went in feeling kinda bummed. We got to the elevators and found out that we forgot which floor labor and delivery was at (doh’). I guess it was pretty obvious where we were going that somebody just went and told us what floor it was without asking where we were going. The giant ovum on the floor should have given it away really. We signed up at the waiting room and waited for about 15 minutes to be taken to an L&D triage. The waiting time made me realize how lucky I was that I wasn’t actually in labor yet. This was around 8:00 pm already. The nurse handed me a hospital/origami gown that Paul and I just could not figure out how to put on. We actually had to wait for the nurse to come back which was pretty embarrassing. Although it’s not like we were really in a hurry since we hung out in that room for quite some time. They did routine stuff (took my bp – good, checked my cervix – closed) then hooked me up to a machine that monitored baby’s heartbeat which was strong. Then we proceeded to wait for someone to do an ultrasound.

did not know what he was getting himself into

excited to soon not be pregnant anymore

The resident did not come around until about 2 hours later. She did the usual measurements (head, heart, leg bone, etc., ) and estimated the size of the baby to be around 7 lbs. However, she found that the volume of amniotic fluid was lower than optimal. She called the doctor in charge and they finally decided to let us stay. Yey! We were so relieved.

They finally got us to a delivery room at around 11 pm. Delivery rooms at OSU are so sweet. They are so huge, private and have large windows. We got settled and decided to take advantage of the cable in the room. We were channel surfing and ended up watching the first Men in Black movie. Will Smith at his peak J Do you remember that scene near the end when Tommy Lee Jones gets eaten by the alien/giant cockroach and he shoots his way out of its belly? Yeah, it didn’t occur to me until later that a lady soon to be giving birth probably shouldn’t have been watching that. Anyway, they started the induction at exactly midnight. They used a pill that goes directly on the cervix. Also at that point I was still not dilated. At this point they tell you to go to sleep. Crazy right? However I did ended up sleeping for about four hours. Paul was sleeping in a pull-out sofa bed which from what he said wasn’t very comfy. I think he got less sleep than I did.

At around 4 am they checked my cervix again and put in another pill. At that point I’ve also started bleeding a little (I think my mucus plug came out) and at 5 am I started feeling contractions. They are correct when they tell you that you will know you are having contractions when you feel them. They’re like intense pms pain. It was also sometime around this time when two very scared-looking med school students came into the room and introduced themselves. I was then sitting up on the side of my bed hunched over the machine that shows your contractions and Paul was next to me rubbing my back or something. They then asked if they could do anything to help. For some reason I just thought that was totally hilarious and could barely keep myself from laughing. I did feel bad for them because seriously, who wants to walk in on that?

At around 7 am a resident came to check my cervix again and while she was doing that my water broke. Now that was weird. I remember asking them to clean it up because it seems like such an embarrassing and inconvenient thing to happen. You can’t believe how many silly thoughts you get in the throes of contractions. Anyway, I think I was about 4 cm dilated by then. The contractions started getting pretty intense and we decided it was probably time to get my epidural or what I’d like to call magic meds. Mind you I was seriously considering having an all out natural birth but man, when those contractions started getting longer than the lull between them I was like “Let’s go modern medicine!”. So Kudos to mamas out there who got through without drugs. Of course as I was warned that it takes a little bit of time for the anesthesiologists to come around since unlike the drugs, they are not magical. Once they got that thing in and the pain stopped it was like seeing rainbows and unicorns and bunny rabbits. Amazing. It was so surreal because the monitor still shows the contractions but I did not feel a thing. I could still move my legs and everything too. They gave me the little button that gives you drugs when you start feeling pain. I loved that button. Also at this point they put me on Pitocin to move the labor along. I was so relaxed at this point that Paul was able to go out and get himself breakfast. I of course had to subsist on ice chips so I told him to tell me the food was bad which he did, only to find out a day later that he was actually just telling the truth.

I guess I did not tell you how very well prepared we were for waiting it out at the hospital. We packed things to keep us occupied like my laptop and several DVDs. I wanted to bring my Pride and Prejudice miniseries DVD, much to Paul’s delight. Just in case I did not feel like being charmed by Mr. Darcy while pushing, we also brought other non-Jane Austen DVDs. We actually ended up watching my favorite Arrested Development episode where Tobias dresses up as a mole and George Michael got the jet pack by accident and they proceeded to destroy the mini-town that Gob built to deceive the Japanese investors. Of course, this is all funnier if you actually watch the episode but trust me it is hilarious.

At around noon my OB finally got to see me. She was gone the night before because she had to take her daughter , who slipped and split her lip in the shower, to the ER. I just want to say, I LOVE my OB. She is so high energy and enthusiastic. I was also very concerned about docs being so quick to do C-sections but she was the OB of my lab mate who was in labor for FORTY-EIGHT HOURS and she didn’t push a C-section even then. So I felt really secure that she would do all that she can to let me have a normal birth. She checked my cervix and I was at 7 cm by then which was great. She then had to leave since she had to go to the clinic but said she’ll be back in an hour.

By 1pm I started feeling more and more pain and they had to up my dose of epidural. Soon after they checked my cervix and I was fully dilated. I think it was probably around then when I started shivering uncontrollably. It was the oddest sensation but apparently it’s due to a release of adrenalin that basically prepares the body for childbirth and also signals the beginning of the transition period of the labor. I felt really cold and had a lot of blankets over me. Due to the epidural, this was probably the point during my labor when I felt the worst. The nurse assured me that it would stop once I start pushing. I was instructed to tell them if I feel any sort of pressure because that is the sign that I need to start pushing. It was around 3pm that I sorta, kinda, maybe felt pressure so they called my doctor. Again, due to the epidural, I really didn’t feel much below the waist while I was pushing but my upper back was killing me. I think it was because I was basically lifting myself up over my belly and I somehow strained by back. I kept asking for hot packs and I had Paul help push me forward when I push. Pushing is kind of strange especially since there are somewhat long lulls between them. At that point there was just Paul and I, the nurse and my doctor in the room. It would get so quiet between pushes which would last about a minute or so and then a flurry of noise once the pushing starts (lots of “you’re doing great!” and “you can do it!”s and such). Then in between we all just sat around and waited. I remember my doc and the nurse carrying on a conversation about changes in their practice and other mundane things. It didn’t bother me at all since it kind of assured me that this was as normal a labor as they go if they could talk about things like that. The nurse was supposed to be out by 4pm so that was the goal we were shooting for. I was pushing as hard as I can and was getting really tired but the baby was slow in making his way out. About an hour and a half into pushing the baby’s heartbeat started getting a little bit slower. Dr. Goist got a bit concerned and started explaining how the vacuum works. I was not cool with that and I was also not happy with the sudden appearance of the forceps. She gave me an extra long rest and told me that if he did not come out in this push she’d attach the vacuum to help him along. I remember pushing with all my might and everybody yelling and then, he was out. Dr. Goist exclaimed “He’s a big one!” At first I could not believe it, I asked Paul if he was really out and if she used the vacuum or not (I was probably out of it by then). I did not hear him cry immediately since Dr. Goist was aspirating out fluid from his mouth. Then he cried what sounded like a really big boy cry to me. I think it was just lower than I anticipated. Paul left my side to cut the umbilical cord and then they took the baby away to clean him up.

Max at 8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches. I think he's saying "It's too bright out here and it smells weird!"

Paul then turned to me and asked what I’d want to name him. I think I was still overwhelmed or something so I told Paul he should decide (we had 2 names to choose from then). He picked Maxwell Dean. I asked if I could kangaroo (skin to skin) him but they said not yet. At that point both of us had a fever over 100F. So they dressed him first and wrapped him up before they brought him to me. I remember looking over at the work table where they had him and they shut off the heating lamp because he had a fever. We got to hold him for about 15 minutes or so before they had to take him to the nursery for observations (since he had a fever). It was amazing how not tired I was then. I remember chatting a lot and being anxious to get out of bed. I guess it’s hard to stay still when you know you have the rest of your now totally changed life ahead of you.

First family portrait. I asked Paul if my hair looked ok and he said yes. Lesson learned: bring a hair brush and mirror next time. Husbands can't be trusted with these sort of things.

Coming next. . . what I learned about giving birth and the first days with a newborn

Max at six months

... sleeps through the night
... (willingly) rolls from his back to his belly

... holds objects and passes them from one hand to the other

... laughs at 'Mr. Brown can moo'

... gives the sweetest neck hugs

... drums on his bebepod

... smiles. a lot.

... eats 2+ tbsp of solid food three times a day

... puts up with childcare at jazzercise

... found his voice (i.e., screams)

i love

. . . cuddling his noggin while he nurses

. . . seeing him wake up bouncing and smiling

. . . that his face brightens up and he absolutely beams when dad gets home

. . . when he grabs at the spoon with both hands

. . . the way he looks at me when I'm all the way across the room

Valentine's day

Before the month of love leaves us I just want to share our first Valentine's day as a family. Since our wedding anniversary falls just a couple days before Feb. 14, Valentine's usually ends up being a more low-key affair for us. This year we just decided to stay at home and cook. We planned on making the meal the day before Valentine's but on Saturday which was when we bought supplies for the meal, we got home to find that what we were planning to make for dinner that night was still pretty frozen. So Pre-Valentine's day dinner became a Pre-pre-Valentine's day dinner. We still pulled out all the stops with wine, candles and lots of food. Who say's having a little one has to cramp your Valentine's day?

This is one of the rare occasions when I actually remembered to take photos of food so here they are:

l

bacon-stuffed mushrooms

thyme roasted carrots

baked brie mac and cheese

here's a plate :) I didn't take a picture of the main course which was a boneless chicken roast. We bought it ready to bake at a poultry store at North Market. They already brine and flavor it and all you have to do is throw it in the oven. So yummy and so little work!

And somebody had a great time sitting in his high chair for the first time!

Hope you all had a love-ly Valentine's day this year!

perfect hot chocolate

since we've been having sub-freezing temps for the past week or so I thought I'd post the best hot cocoa recipe I've ever tried. it's also super simple though a bit more work than using cocoa from a packet. it's so worth it though!

Hot Chocolate

(saw it first at joythebaker)

ingredients:

milk (any fat content)

3 tbsp chocolate chips

1 tbsp white chocolate chips

marshmallows (optional)

1. Heat up milk (stove top or nuke it does not matter)

2. Melt chocolate and white chocolate chips (double boiler or nuke it in mug, but be careful when microwaving because white chocolate burns fast)

4. Pour hot milk into mug/bowl with melted chocolate. Whisk.

5. Add marshmallows and enjoy!